Grieving Through the Holidays

Garrett Walkup, RVNAhealth Spiritual and Pastoral Care Coordinator, recently held an in-person class through RVNAhealth’s Wellness Academy called “Grieving Through the Holidays.” For those who did not attend and are grieving a loss this holiday season, Garrett has shared with us some highlights from his class.

This holiday season may be the first since experiencing the death of someone close to you. For lack of a more clinical term, grief is “sticky.” It attaches, not just to you, but to times and places. Instead of holiday traditions bringing us — as the song says — “comfort and joy,” they stir up memories and trigger emotions that also bring up pain and sadness.

You may be saying to yourself, “I don’t want to be of good cheer.” If this is you, here are ten thoughts and reflections that may help.

There is no right or wrong way to celebrate a holiday after the death of a loved one. If an occasion or tradition is too painful, don’t do it. If you need to minimize decorations, that’s okay too.

Be kind and gracious to yourself. Grieving consumes your physical and emotional energy, and holidays place additional demands on that.

Take care of yourself. Don’t neglect eating, hydration, exercise, and sleep.

Create boundaries. You may need to leave early, arrive late or say “no” to engagements. Be flexible with social commitments.

Create support for yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with items such as shopping, meal prep, or getting a ride.

Have that one person. Have one person you can be your real, raw and authentic self with.

Plan ahead. You may have found this already, but grief causes brain fog so make lists and prioritize. If your loved one had a special role like carving the turkey or saying the table prayer, think of someone else to take that tradition.

Don’t feel guilty about enjoying yourself. Laughing, singing and having fun is healing to your soul.

Embrace the emotion. If you feel a rogue wave of emotion come on, don’t turn away from it, welcome the unwelcome. It is better to go through it than try to hold it off.

Create new traditions. There is a tension between looking back to remember your loved one, and facing your new reality. How can you do both? Making new memories does not erase old ones…

  • Light a candle
  • Donate or serve others in their memory
  • Serve their favorite food
  • Collect stories in a box and share

We at RVNAhealth hope you find peace as you mourn and joy for your spirit this holiday season.

Ridgefield’s Nurse-Family Partnership program builds lasting connections with mothers

Ridgefield Press | Author: Kaitlin Lyle | September 7, 2022

 

For new mom and Danbury resident Marcia Valdes, a local program for first-time mothers and their babies has provided an invaluable support system.

Nurse-Family Partnership program has been around for about 40 years – starting in Colorado and making its way to western Connecticut two years ago.

“I love it,” Valdes said of the program. “It’s great because as a first-time mom, you have a lot of questions. You’re always concerned … things change because your life’s changed.”

RVNAhealth enrolled its first client for the program in March 2020, just a week before everything closed down due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

After offering virtual visits during COVID-19, the program is back to doing home visits but continues to offer virtual visits as an option.

Jennifer Taborda, a registered nurse with RVNAhealth, said the program, funded by the state’s Office of Early Childhood, is completely free and voluntary for families.

The program enrolls expecting mothers at 29 weeks or less of pregnancy and the nurses stay with the families until their baby is 2 years old.

Throughout the program, Taborda said the nurses build long-term relationships with the mothers and watch their babies grow. Once the babies turn 2 years old, she said they have graduation ceremonies for the babies.

During their involvement with the program, families are provided with education, support and connections to resources for services like housing, food, and counseling.

Additionally, Taborda said the program’s nurses conduct health, growth and development screenings for the babies and provide education and resources for children, including services that provide early intervention for children that are behind in their development.

“I would say as a first-time mom, having a free program like this is huge,” Taborda said. “Having support, having education – especially for some of our moms who don’t understand what’s happening to their body during pregnancy.”

Taborda said the mothers are educated on what to expect during labor and the risks that could occur. A lot of the time, she said, the mothers don’t have the understanding of what’s going on with their bodies; there are some mothers that didn’t have parents that engaged and played with them. Understanding that it’s okay to get down on the floor and play with one’s child, Taborda said, is educational for both the mothers and their children.

Taborda said the program has helped mothers get their college applications started and set goals for themselves. She said the program strives to set its families up for lifelong success – both for the families and the children – and to make sure they understand the importance of health visits for their children and self care for themselves.

RVNAhealth Director of Community Health and Wellness and Nurse Family Partnership Program Administrator Laura Shulman Cordeira said first-time mothers benefit from the program, in that they’re more likely to have full-term babies and less likely to have low birth weight babies.

Other benefits are mothers are more likely to initiate breastfeeding; attend their prenatal and postpartum appointments; bring their children to their pediatric appointments during their first year of life; set goals for themselves and become more self-sufficient economically.

Through the program, Cordeira said children are less likely to be in the hospital during their first two years of life as a result of an accidental injury; they’re also less likely to have behavioral or intellectual problems at age 6.

Additionally, she said the children involved in the program are less likely to be in any sort of juvenile detention system.

“I mean, it’s really incredible how long-lasting these results can be,” Cordeira said.

Though she’s been a nurse for nine years, Taborda said her work with the Nurse-Family Partnership program is “the first job I feel very connected with and definitely get a sense of fulfillment.”

As a member of a “small, but mighty” team of nurses with the Nurse-Family Partnership program, Taborda is a personal nurse for first-time mothers in Region 5 of Connecticut, which includes the Northwest Corner, Waterbury, Danbury, New Milford, New Hartford and Torrington.

Out of the 37 families enrolled in the Nurse-Family Partnership program, Taborda works with 21 clients – one of whom is Valdes and her 9-month-old son, Anthony.

Valdes was 17 weeks pregnant when she was advised to call the Nurse-Family Partnership program. She said she texted Taborda, who texted back to explain how the program works. They set up a Facetime call to see how things might work and their relationship grew from there.

During her pregnancy, Valdes said she was concerned about her weight, so Taborda gave her a book to help with her nutrition. Now, every other week, Taborda comes to Valdes’ house to visit her and baby Anthony — sometimes bringing formula, diapers, wipes, creams, toys and books and sitting down to play with Anthony while she and Valdes talk.

Among some of her own questions, Valdes said she was concerned when Anthony was between 4 and 6 months and hadn’t yet rolled over. She was also concerned about his sleep because Anthony “was never a good sleeper.”

Opening up about her experiences as a first-time mother, Valdes said her favorite moment is nursing: “It’s challenging, but it’s the moment you have your baby and he needs you and that moment is just the both of you and it’s amazing.”

Reflecting on how she’d encourage others to enroll in the program, Taborda said, “I was a teen mother myself. If I had this program, it would’ve changed my life. There’s so much to learn. The support is just fantastic. … When our moms leave our program, they’re able to advocate for themselves and they’re going to be okay.”

Eye Spy a New Billboard…Thank You Fairfield County Bank!

Thank you to Fairfield County Bank for generously donating their billboard space on I95N Exit 15 to RVNAhealth from November through January!  The Bank has been a loyal supporter of RVNAhealth for more than 25 years.  Use of this billboard is another example of the many ways in which the Bank partners with RVNAhealth to support and help expand our services in the region.

As Theresa Santoro, RVNAhealth President & CEO explains, “RVNAhealth’s growth and innovation have been due, in no small part, to the support received throughout the years from Fairfield County Bank, its employees, and its board members. From banking, insurance, and investments to guidance, advice, and support across countless volunteer hours, the impact Fairfield County Bank has had on RVNAhealth has been immeasurable.  They are a true friend and partner of our agency and we are immensely grateful for their unwavering commitment to the health and wellness of our communities and the many lives we serve.”

A Month of Thankfulness but an Honor Year-Round

Community Dementia Presentation on June 16th 2023

As November brings a celebration of thankfulness with the Thanksgiving holiday, at RVNAhealth another type of thankfulness is celebrated throughout the month. November is recognized as National Hospice & Palliative Care month. It is a time we show our appreciation for the nurses, aides, social workers, and others, who pour their heart and soul into the compassionate care of our hospice patients and their families.

”When asking any member of our team why they chose to work in the hospice field, you often hear the phrase ‘it’s an honor’ mentioned,” says Hospice Clinical Director, Jessica Velasco, RN, CDP. “They are honored to be a part of a patient’s end-story…honored to have families welcome them into their homes to care for their loved one…honored to share in a family’s personal stories, thoughts, and emotions. RVNAhealth’s Hospice team works around the clock daily to deliver a remarkable standard of care and support to our patients and their loved ones. During this month as we celebrate and recognize the hospice profession, please join me as we ‘turn the table’ and express what an honor it is to work alongside this amazing team!”

We send our tremendous gratitude and appreciation to the following Hospice teams:

Thank you to our Medical Directors who oversee the care and management of our patients. Our Medical Directors provide round the clock expertise, patient team coordination, and support to our Nursing and extended interdisciplinary teams, helping to ensure comfort through each patient’s individual hospice journey.

Thank you to our Nursing Team — those in the field and in the office, those who work weekdays, weekends, and night shifts. Our Nursing staff do everything from creating and overseeing patient care plans, to answering family calls and questions, to reviewing charts and ongoing adjusting of comfort measures, to teaching and helping loved ones to best support their family member. Our Nursing Team members work 24-7 to ensure patients and family members are supported through easily accessible communication and compassionate expert care.

Thank you to our CNAs (Certified Nursing Assistants), a team that comprises a core function of everything we do in Hospice.  These talented hands-on health care professionals spend the most time with our patients, following plans of care, aiding with activities of daily living, and dynamically supporting their changing needs.

Thank you to our Social Workers who provide emotional and informational support and education to patients and their families, helping them navigate and understand the hospice care journey. They are also trained to comfort and guide families with grief both during and after a loved one’s passing.

Thank you to our Pastoral Care Team who provide non-denominational spiritual care that is personalized to each patient’s beliefs and wishes. Trained to help individuals explore and navigate feelings, understandings, and hopes, this team also provides bereavement support for our patients, loved ones, and the community.

Thank you to our Music Therapists who use their restorative talents to support comfort, fond memories, and the release of emotions throughout care. Whether as a quiet listening experience or as an active entertainment with dialogue or song, our music team strives to meet what a patient needs the most on any day.

Thank you to our Hospice Volunteer Team who have donated over 2,000 hours of their time in the last year alone providing visits to our patients and their families, as well as assisting in our offices. From chatting, to playing games, to walks, and supportive listening, our volunteers add meaningful moments to our hospice team every day.

Thank you to our Therapy Dog, Sophia who works tirelessly to provide joyful, tail-wagging visits and cuddles.

Thank you to all other RVNAhealth interdisciplinary teams who work to ensure our hospice program delivers best in class service to families when they need it most!

For more information on RVNAhealth Hospice services, please visit our website or call us at 203.438.5555.